I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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