I think my fart just growled at me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
