Well douche your snatch and let's go!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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