I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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