I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
