dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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