it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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