dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
