Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
