Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
