My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
