apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
