Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
A+ Viking dick
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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