Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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