Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
