Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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