Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
