No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
