Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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