after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Houston, we have a blender
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
