If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
