Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
