for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
