whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
