1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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