Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
