Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
