I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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