We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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