Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
