I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
