so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
