We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
