did you get engaged???
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
