Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
