Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
