Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
