i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
