I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
