I just saw a hot homeless man
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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