Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
