I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
