I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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