So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
