I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
