I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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