drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
