You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
