Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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