Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
