Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
