I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
my poor anus
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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