Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
