The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
