Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
