She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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