office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I'm really busy with my period
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